About Me
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Min is confused.....
now so confused.. mi veri lost...
its all about sze hang.. he said he likes mi.. even to the extend of loving mi liao.. mi know tat he is a nice guy.. he treats mi really well.. no complaints in tat area.. mi always like to bicker with him.. play around.. we hang out quite alot.. mi do enjoy his company.. he knows tat mi loves brownies.. he try to learn and bake for me.. he cooks for mi.. he compose a song for mi.. all in all.. he is willing to go an extra mile to make mi happy..
although mi always make things difficult for him.. he try to give in to mi.. he is sensitive to mi feelings.. always try to be there for mi.. no matter where and how tired he is..
however.. mi feeling towards him have been.... mi dunno what to say.. its not tat mi dun like him.. mi do.. mi really do like him.. but its more like a fondness for a fren rather then a lover.. and its really not enough for mi to accept him..
a few days ago.. he told mi tat he is tired.. he is thinking of giving up.. he said tat if mi ask him to stay, he will be more then happy to do so.. after much thought.. mi decided tat he is much better off without mi.. mi have been wasting his time, effort and $.. mi have already bring him so much hurt..
he said tat he is so disappointed.. is not our relationship not enough for mi to pick up mi courage to ask him to stay? does he mean anything to mi? mi feel kinda sad.. mi feel like mi have been taking him for granted.. he has done so much for mi and wat have i gave him in return? nothing but hurt.. mi told him tat it is all mi fault.. and mi accept all the blame..
he cried.. he said tat he oni told mi he wanna leave because he is jealous.. jealous tat mi treat mi frens so much better.. jealus tat mi have quite a number of guy frens whom mi hang out often and are all very close...
maybe he is trying to test water.. maybe he have confidence tat mi will ask him to stay.. but he uses the wrong tatic.. mi hold mi stand and tell him tat its best tat we remain frens.. if mi ask him to stay, he will end up getting more hurt if things doesn't work out..
he beg mi to let him stay.. no matter how many times mi persuade him to give up.. he is still persistant... mi kinda shaken.. kinda tempted to move mi stand.. but decided tat mi should have more determination.. since mi believe tat its for his own good.. mi decide to set a stricter and harsh message to him..
"Mi have been thinking alot about this.. lets remain as frens.. the future is unpredictable.. however.. mi still canot accept your feelings for mi at this pint of time.. please do not force mi anymore.. or else we may not even be able to stay as frens.. mi do not wish us to end up in tat suitation.."
mi waited and waited.. thinking and thinking.. mi so worried sick.. is he crying? he mus have been so hurt.. he beg mi yet mi still........ mi tot of calling but mi dunno wat to say when he answers.. maybe he is asleep and did not heard the hp ring?
mi feel so lousy.. mi such a bitch.. *sobz* sorry hang...
its all about sze hang.. he said he likes mi.. even to the extend of loving mi liao.. mi know tat he is a nice guy.. he treats mi really well.. no complaints in tat area.. mi always like to bicker with him.. play around.. we hang out quite alot.. mi do enjoy his company.. he knows tat mi loves brownies.. he try to learn and bake for me.. he cooks for mi.. he compose a song for mi.. all in all.. he is willing to go an extra mile to make mi happy..
although mi always make things difficult for him.. he try to give in to mi.. he is sensitive to mi feelings.. always try to be there for mi.. no matter where and how tired he is..
however.. mi feeling towards him have been.... mi dunno what to say.. its not tat mi dun like him.. mi do.. mi really do like him.. but its more like a fondness for a fren rather then a lover.. and its really not enough for mi to accept him..
a few days ago.. he told mi tat he is tired.. he is thinking of giving up.. he said tat if mi ask him to stay, he will be more then happy to do so.. after much thought.. mi decided tat he is much better off without mi.. mi have been wasting his time, effort and $.. mi have already bring him so much hurt..
he said tat he is so disappointed.. is not our relationship not enough for mi to pick up mi courage to ask him to stay? does he mean anything to mi? mi feel kinda sad.. mi feel like mi have been taking him for granted.. he has done so much for mi and wat have i gave him in return? nothing but hurt.. mi told him tat it is all mi fault.. and mi accept all the blame..
he cried.. he said tat he oni told mi he wanna leave because he is jealous.. jealous tat mi treat mi frens so much better.. jealus tat mi have quite a number of guy frens whom mi hang out often and are all very close...
maybe he is trying to test water.. maybe he have confidence tat mi will ask him to stay.. but he uses the wrong tatic.. mi hold mi stand and tell him tat its best tat we remain frens.. if mi ask him to stay, he will end up getting more hurt if things doesn't work out..
he beg mi to let him stay.. no matter how many times mi persuade him to give up.. he is still persistant... mi kinda shaken.. kinda tempted to move mi stand.. but decided tat mi should have more determination.. since mi believe tat its for his own good.. mi decide to set a stricter and harsh message to him..
"Mi have been thinking alot about this.. lets remain as frens.. the future is unpredictable.. however.. mi still canot accept your feelings for mi at this pint of time.. please do not force mi anymore.. or else we may not even be able to stay as frens.. mi do not wish us to end up in tat suitation.."
mi waited and waited.. thinking and thinking.. mi so worried sick.. is he crying? he mus have been so hurt.. he beg mi yet mi still........ mi tot of calling but mi dunno wat to say when he answers.. maybe he is asleep and did not heard the hp ring?
mi feel so lousy.. mi such a bitch.. *sobz* sorry hang...
written by min @ 6/01/2005 01:17:00 AM
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