About Me
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
Old wounds and scars opening...
hmm.. on monday.. mi off day.. went online in the afternoon.. suddenly receive one icq message from Aus.. he told mi that he just created a blog.. then went offline straight away.. mi dun even have a chance to reply..
naturally.. mi visited it.. his blog is simple.. nothing too fanciful.. he just started for a few days.. nothing much to read.. but.. can see his life quite colorful and happy.. he got a lot of activities.. spent lots of time with friends and games.. he drive now.. he... he.. he is leading a better life without mi..
after reading his blog feel a pang of sadness and heartache.. mi will rather he din tell mi abt the blog.. now that he have.. mi can't help but to read it.. read about what he is doing.. who he seeing.. he haven written anything about the gal whom he likes.. but guess its sooner or later ba..
mi very affected by this incident.. feel so much pain.. so confused.. talked to kaili and sonya.. kaili was very direct in telling mi these.. she said mi should not be friends with him.. he only trying to reduce his guilt for what he have done.. he have fully recovered and moved on wth his life.. mi is the one who is still steping on the same ground.. by staying as friends with him.. it does not helps mi to move on at all.. instead, it makes mi very sad.. he does not cares about mi or thought of mi feelings.. sonya said.. she wondered if mi have really moved on..
indeed.. everytime he talked to mi.. it is pouring salt on mi wounds.. mi knew what kaili is saying.. mi just choose to overlook it or deceiving miself.. mi dunno what mi trying to do.. but mi just wanna try to make him feel better.. mi so stupid.. what is mi doing? trying to be noble? mi only making miself miserable..
naturally.. mi visited it.. his blog is simple.. nothing too fanciful.. he just started for a few days.. nothing much to read.. but.. can see his life quite colorful and happy.. he got a lot of activities.. spent lots of time with friends and games.. he drive now.. he... he.. he is leading a better life without mi..
after reading his blog feel a pang of sadness and heartache.. mi will rather he din tell mi abt the blog.. now that he have.. mi can't help but to read it.. read about what he is doing.. who he seeing.. he haven written anything about the gal whom he likes.. but guess its sooner or later ba..
mi very affected by this incident.. feel so much pain.. so confused.. talked to kaili and sonya.. kaili was very direct in telling mi these.. she said mi should not be friends with him.. he only trying to reduce his guilt for what he have done.. he have fully recovered and moved on wth his life.. mi is the one who is still steping on the same ground.. by staying as friends with him.. it does not helps mi to move on at all.. instead, it makes mi very sad.. he does not cares about mi or thought of mi feelings.. sonya said.. she wondered if mi have really moved on..
indeed.. everytime he talked to mi.. it is pouring salt on mi wounds.. mi knew what kaili is saying.. mi just choose to overlook it or deceiving miself.. mi dunno what mi trying to do.. but mi just wanna try to make him feel better.. mi so stupid.. what is mi doing? trying to be noble? mi only making miself miserable..
written by min @ 7/14/2004 11:32:00 PM
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