About Me
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mi broke down this morning...... now eyes swollen.... nose red red.....
mi dunno what happened to mi.... yesterday meeting mi was so pissed off... small boss told mi he need the laptop and ask mi to pass it to him... mi dun understand… can’t he at least have the basic courtesy to tell mi a few days earlier? He wants mi to do work… and he is taking the laptop away.. then how on earth am mi going to access to the system???? Mi do know that the laptop doesn’t belong to mi…. But mi got files in it… files that are important to mi…. mi darling mp3s…. almost 400 of them…. And… there are the icq conversations between him and mi…. in a fit or anger… mi deleted all of them…. And mi created another regret in mi life… why am mi so bad tempered???
Mi was so angry that mi walked into a bench… now mi got a big bruise below mi right knee… hurts likes hell….. while mi was in the bus on the way home… mi feel so vexed… everything irritates mi…. feel like the whole world is against mi or something… terrible mood…. But mi thought over the matter… mi know mi is being very rude…. When he talk to mi, mi snapped back at him…. Mi walked so fast that none of the 3 guys can catch up with mi….. haiz.. mi in a childish behavior again…. Always got worked up and show mi temper… so mi send him a message… “I am sorry for being rude.. but mi would have appreciate it if you have told mi earlier…” he didn’t reply…. Then mi remember that he dunno mi password to access the computer…. Mi message him again….. still no reply….. mi felt so lonely in the bus…. So vulnerable…. So tired of acting strong and cheerful…. mi reached home… mi dunno what has gotten into mi… mi attitude to mi mum was just as bad… feel bad about it… sorry mum… mi din mean it….. but the words she retorted back also hurts mi….
He finally replied after mi finished bathing…. His reply was ‘Hey was sorry too.. was a bit too last minute on my part. Nite.’ Mi was about to say it is not ‘a bit too late’ but ‘very very late’…. Hmm… on second thought, mi decide to leave the matter lah….
Mi ate so much for dinner… think mi trying to vent mi frustration… but it doesn’t work that way… mi end up even more pissed off…. Mi toss and turn…. Doesn’t seems to fall asleep…. Mi sat down on mi chair and stare blankly into the mid air…. Mi wanna cry… felt so depress… so helpless…. And mi dunno whats the reason….mi wish for a pair of strong arms… one that can give mi a strong embrace…. Protect mi… let mi feel safe….. mi dunno how long mi sat there… but at last mi fell asleep…. Mi dreamt of him again…..
He was sitting down hugging his knees… his head buried in his arms…. Mi walked towards him and pat him on the shoulder….he tilts his head up…. His eyes were blood shot… like he’s been crying… pain fills mi heart.. mi sat down beside him… mi wanna console him but dunno what to do or what to say…. Mi hold his hand and squeeze it tightly… he return the squeeze and fell into mi arms… mi hugged him tightly…. Mi dunno what makes him so upset but mi heart aches… tears filled mi eyes too…
Mi dunno what that dream means… mi only hope what Jieying says is right…. Reality is always opposite of the dream.. mi hope he is alright…..
Mi woke up feeling no better… but still get ready to school as usual….. mi heard some sad songs.. one almost make mi drop tears.. but manage to control it… the song is “Bu Hui Hen Jiu”…. Haiz… the lyrics gets to mi…. finally reached school…. Jieying arrived shortly after mi…. mi dunno what happens…. Suddenly feel like collapsing…. Tears just flows uncontrollably…. Mi got up and walked out of the room… Jieying an mi partner got a big scare… she came running after mi…. mi calm down a little and return to the room… but mi cannot hold it any longer… and finally broke down…. Mi cried and cried…. Luckily Jieying was there to give mi a hug and listen to mi… although what mi says doesn’t really make sense.. mi dun even understand what mi was talking about…. She sat beside mi on the balcony while mi let out mi frustration… Thanks.. mi appreciate that a lot…
Maybe mi too stressed up… maybe mi let mi frustration accumulate for too long…. Maybe mi too tired… too tired to be strong…. But mi will be alright….. no worries…. for now.. mi still upset....
mi broke down this morning...... now eyes swollen.... nose red red.....
mi dunno what happened to mi.... yesterday meeting mi was so pissed off... small boss told mi he need the laptop and ask mi to pass it to him... mi dun understand… can’t he at least have the basic courtesy to tell mi a few days earlier? He wants mi to do work… and he is taking the laptop away.. then how on earth am mi going to access to the system???? Mi do know that the laptop doesn’t belong to mi…. But mi got files in it… files that are important to mi…. mi darling mp3s…. almost 400 of them…. And… there are the icq conversations between him and mi…. in a fit or anger… mi deleted all of them…. And mi created another regret in mi life… why am mi so bad tempered???
Mi was so angry that mi walked into a bench… now mi got a big bruise below mi right knee… hurts likes hell….. while mi was in the bus on the way home… mi feel so vexed… everything irritates mi…. feel like the whole world is against mi or something… terrible mood…. But mi thought over the matter… mi know mi is being very rude…. When he talk to mi, mi snapped back at him…. Mi walked so fast that none of the 3 guys can catch up with mi….. haiz.. mi in a childish behavior again…. Always got worked up and show mi temper… so mi send him a message… “I am sorry for being rude.. but mi would have appreciate it if you have told mi earlier…” he didn’t reply…. Then mi remember that he dunno mi password to access the computer…. Mi message him again….. still no reply….. mi felt so lonely in the bus…. So vulnerable…. So tired of acting strong and cheerful…. mi reached home… mi dunno what has gotten into mi… mi attitude to mi mum was just as bad… feel bad about it… sorry mum… mi din mean it….. but the words she retorted back also hurts mi….
He finally replied after mi finished bathing…. His reply was ‘Hey was sorry too.. was a bit too last minute on my part. Nite.’ Mi was about to say it is not ‘a bit too late’ but ‘very very late’…. Hmm… on second thought, mi decide to leave the matter lah….
Mi ate so much for dinner… think mi trying to vent mi frustration… but it doesn’t work that way… mi end up even more pissed off…. Mi toss and turn…. Doesn’t seems to fall asleep…. Mi sat down on mi chair and stare blankly into the mid air…. Mi wanna cry… felt so depress… so helpless…. And mi dunno whats the reason….mi wish for a pair of strong arms… one that can give mi a strong embrace…. Protect mi… let mi feel safe….. mi dunno how long mi sat there… but at last mi fell asleep…. Mi dreamt of him again…..
He was sitting down hugging his knees… his head buried in his arms…. Mi walked towards him and pat him on the shoulder….he tilts his head up…. His eyes were blood shot… like he’s been crying… pain fills mi heart.. mi sat down beside him… mi wanna console him but dunno what to do or what to say…. Mi hold his hand and squeeze it tightly… he return the squeeze and fell into mi arms… mi hugged him tightly…. Mi dunno what makes him so upset but mi heart aches… tears filled mi eyes too…
Mi dunno what that dream means… mi only hope what Jieying says is right…. Reality is always opposite of the dream.. mi hope he is alright…..
Mi woke up feeling no better… but still get ready to school as usual….. mi heard some sad songs.. one almost make mi drop tears.. but manage to control it… the song is “Bu Hui Hen Jiu”…. Haiz… the lyrics gets to mi…. finally reached school…. Jieying arrived shortly after mi…. mi dunno what happens…. Suddenly feel like collapsing…. Tears just flows uncontrollably…. Mi got up and walked out of the room… Jieying an mi partner got a big scare… she came running after mi…. mi calm down a little and return to the room… but mi cannot hold it any longer… and finally broke down…. Mi cried and cried…. Luckily Jieying was there to give mi a hug and listen to mi… although what mi says doesn’t really make sense.. mi dun even understand what mi was talking about…. She sat beside mi on the balcony while mi let out mi frustration… Thanks.. mi appreciate that a lot…
Maybe mi too stressed up… maybe mi let mi frustration accumulate for too long…. Maybe mi too tired… too tired to be strong…. But mi will be alright….. no worries…. for now.. mi still upset....
written by min @ 2/25/2004 03:30:00 PM
<
Comments:
Post a Comment