About Me
Monday, January 19, 2004
updates for the weekend.. well err.. meeting on friday night till... ard 11++pm? so damn tired.. haiz.. endure endure... no other way out... oh.. another thing.. the boss is really far far far toooooooo long winded... i seriously wonder how his girlfriend could haven stand him for so many year!!??! *grumbles... grumbles... and more grumbles.....*
on sat.. hmm.. what did i do on sat leh... oh.. i visited my dad's uncle and auntie... nice couple.. very friendly and chatty.. although most of the time i don't understand what they are saying.. i think they are probably too lonely.. two old people and a maid... so whenever we visit them, they will always be very happy... i feel kinda weird after seeing them.. well.. they are rather old and you know.. like old people, their bodies gave way to age... sicky.. weak... looking at my err.. granduncle?? or whatever lah.. although he is sicky.. he have his wife around... they have kids and grandkids... so its not too bad.. at least they have got someone to look after them....
then i think of myself... i don't wanna grow old alone.. i mean how sad is that? when you are old, sicky and weak.. so helpless.. theres no one around.. yes.. maybe there are friends.. but they will have their own families.. their lifes... they can't be always there for you.. in fact they will be as old like me.. they can't 'help' me if even if they want to.. i am scared.. really scared... seriously scared... i don't want to live alone.. grow old alone.. and die alone...
i am tired.. i dunno why... i am longling for a shoulder to lay on.. i dun wanna be independent... i hope someone will love me and take care of me... i hope that someone can be him.. but there is no place for me in his heart and future... tired... really am tired.... i am a weakling..... scold me people... let me wake up to my senses... i feel like dying....
on sat.. hmm.. what did i do on sat leh... oh.. i visited my dad's uncle and auntie... nice couple.. very friendly and chatty.. although most of the time i don't understand what they are saying.. i think they are probably too lonely.. two old people and a maid... so whenever we visit them, they will always be very happy... i feel kinda weird after seeing them.. well.. they are rather old and you know.. like old people, their bodies gave way to age... sicky.. weak... looking at my err.. granduncle?? or whatever lah.. although he is sicky.. he have his wife around... they have kids and grandkids... so its not too bad.. at least they have got someone to look after them....
then i think of myself... i don't wanna grow old alone.. i mean how sad is that? when you are old, sicky and weak.. so helpless.. theres no one around.. yes.. maybe there are friends.. but they will have their own families.. their lifes... they can't be always there for you.. in fact they will be as old like me.. they can't 'help' me if even if they want to.. i am scared.. really scared... seriously scared... i don't want to live alone.. grow old alone.. and die alone...
i am tired.. i dunno why... i am longling for a shoulder to lay on.. i dun wanna be independent... i hope someone will love me and take care of me... i hope that someone can be him.. but there is no place for me in his heart and future... tired... really am tired.... i am a weakling..... scold me people... let me wake up to my senses... i feel like dying....
written by min @ 1/19/2004 10:45:00 AM
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